family drama

After my last posting about M I thought perhaps it was time for a proper update. And no, I unfortunately do not have any updates about M and how that situation is going. I sent him another text but once again it's gone unanswered. Where to begin... My last post was about my aunt dying. …

still here, still struggling

Well, here we are again. Trying to patiently wait for something we aren't quite sure even exists. Life is hard, yet we continue to put one foot in front of the other. Perhaps our will to live currently outweighs that of dying. We've been trying to be more honest in therapy and it's hard. The …

will the world actually cave in because I am too much?

I've asked myself the question a thousand times a day when it's literally felt like my world is falling apart around me. Lately it feels like I've been asking the question more often than not. And it all feels like it's my fault for being too much for those around me. I often feel like …

dejected

I feel something but I can't find the words to describe what it is. It's so frustrating when I get into these places where everything feels so difficult and I can't seem to figure out how to get out of them. I've been sensing the darkness coming back to visit these last few days. I …

frustration

It's been 8 days. In those 8 days there's been nothing but silence and a great big elephant sitting in the middle of the room that refuses to move. 8 days of ignoring and pretending everything is the way it's always been. 8 days of disconnection, disappointment and aloneness. I need more from her. So …

it’s done

On Wednesday evening my Auntie told my mother about the abuse I suffered from my two cousins. On Thursday morning my mother came out and stayed camping with us. Guess what she said to me? Nothing. Not a fucking word about any of it other than my Auntie asked her to give me a hug …