the shadow is back

It felt like things had been slowly getting back to what I can only say feels like a bit of normalcy. But another bad nightmare, plus some other things happening and we're back in the land of the darkness again. Hmmm where to begin. About a month ago, I got offered a new job. It's … Continue reading the shadow is back


I know nightmares are common in PTSD, but how do you know if what haunts you in your sleep is real or not? I always told myself that if it wasn't something I'd remembered during the day then it wasn't real. But the nightmare I had last week feels so real that I find it … Continue reading ambiguity


Time is moving so slowly at the moment that I'm not entirely sure whether it's even moving at all. I feel lost, disconnected from this thing called life. Where has everyone gone and what does it mean? I feel so infinitely small like a tiny speck of dust floating in the air. Will I ever … Continue reading trapped

falling flat

Friday's session was not a good one for me. It started out fine, the usual 'how are you?' followed by some basic chatter about the weather, vaccinations and such followed by another 'how are you, really?'. It's good that we have these types of conversations. Before, T used to sit and stare at me, not … Continue reading falling flat