Him

I never quite know how to start talking about my father. February 1st will be 12 years since he died and I always thought a huge weight would be lifted off of my shoulders once he was gone. It hasn't happened that way though. Perhaps a part of me felt we could pretend a little …

Father’s Day

Here I sit on the eve of one of my top two most hated holidays, Father's Day. Friends Facebook and Instagram posts will be starting early tomorrow, celebrations of joy and thankfulness for 1/2 of their DNA. I of course, won't be celebrating anything. I don't know how I will be spending the day this …

weekends

Do you enjoy your weekends? Is it something you look forward to all week? At my session yesterday after speaking with T we've come to the realization that weekends are hard for us. They definitely aren't something ever looked forward to and actually tend to increase the amount of anxiety going on in life. T …

let’s talk about DNA–random thoughts of the day

Sometimes, I like to watch Law & Order: SVU. I probably shouldn't because it's triggering as hell but I like to watch them nail those guilty dirtbags to the wall. Anyways, today's episode was about DNA and whether or not the genes of a perpetrator can be passed on to their children. I remember a …

let’s talk about shame

T and I have been talking about shame. He tends to get 'a little hot under the collar' as he likes to say when I tell him I feel ashamed for all the things that happened. The shame. It comes from so many different things--they told me it was my fault, they told me nobody …

when your weeks are tough

Last week was quite a rough week and I'm glad for it to be over. On a whim I'd decided I'd write my brother a letter last Sunday. I've been looking for answers that neither I nor T can find. I'm not sure exactly what I hope my brother can say to me but perhaps …