letters not sent–feeling sad

Dear T, We met today and part of me just wanted to sink into the silence that exists between us sometimes so that I could try to reset what's happening on the inside but your gentle prodding prevented that from happening. We talked a bit about our upcoming holidays...first yours and then mine. It's not … Continue reading letters not sent–feeling sad

letters not sent-losing game

Dear T, It's been over a week since we've communicated and today is the first day I feel like I really need you to be here. I guess my wish that we could get down to one session a week isn't going to happen again this year. I know it probably doesn't matter to you … Continue reading letters not sent-losing game

the blahs

Well, it didn't rain and we didn't have a thunderstorm which means lightning didn't hit the tree beside our tent and I'm still here...sigh. We're leaving a day early still because they are calling for 20-30mm of rain which is good for the forest fire situation but not so good for tearing down a campsite … Continue reading the blahs


Well here we are, the second and last vacation for the summer. One more week away from work and life. One more week away from therapy. I know I really shouldn't complain because T hasn't taken any additional time away and the first week was my holiday and not his but something about the separation … Continue reading vacation


I feel like I am just buying time, as though we really aren't supposed to be here. There is always a part of me that feels like I need permission just in order to exist in this world because we've never had the opportunity to just be. Some days I feel like stepping off the … Continue reading rambles

survival mode

August. The season of T's all over the world going on holidays. The season of clients having meltdowns because their T's are going on holidays. For me, it was no different. T went on holiday. But unlike previous ones I didn't have a meltdown--at least not while he was gone. Now that he's back it's … Continue reading survival mode