I want to speak, but my lips feel sewn together like the tight stiches of a handmade quilt. How do you speak if no one’s listening, if your voice is banned, or no one understands your words? The silence rages against me. I’m not sure which way things are supposed to be at the moment … Continue reading depression
These are the things I write to T in the middle of the night when I can't sleep for the millionth time. TW: talk of sexual abuse and suicide I don’t want to write this letter. I don’t want to say these words. I don’t want to be me sitting on your couch feeling like … Continue reading letters to T
I tried really hard last week to settle into working from home, helping the youngest try to keep up with some schoolwork (we're back to online learning indefinitely) and being a mother all at the same time. There are so many memes about how to make the best of this time and loads of advice … Continue reading ramblings part 2,365,874
Do you enjoy your weekends? Is it something you look forward to all week? At my session yesterday after speaking with T we've come to the realization that weekends are hard for us. They definitely aren't something ever looked forward to and actually tend to increase the amount of anxiety going on in life. T … Continue reading weekends
T constantly tells me to be in touch if I need him. While I try my best not to be in touch (because I think it's important that he gets some time to himself) when I do reach out it's because I need something I can't get for myself and am basically feeling on the … Continue reading why do you tell me to be in touch if you aren’t going to answer me?
Time is moving so slowly at the moment that I'm not entirely sure whether it's even moving at all. I feel lost, disconnected from this thing called life. Where has everyone gone and what does it mean? I feel so infinitely small like a tiny speck of dust floating in the air. Will I ever … Continue reading trapped