Back in October when I was hospitalized, the psychiatrist on staff told me that I had borderline personality disorder. He told me I had other diagnoses as well--complex trauma, anxiety, depression--but the borderline diagnosis really stuck in my head. I mentioned it all to T but he's not one to really discuss labels and feels … Continue reading do I live a borderline life?
I've been struggling with some of the side effects of my medication for awhile now, mostly weight gain, and it's not doing anything to make me feel better about myself physically. At my last appointment with my physician he told me I could reduce my Seroquel if I wanted to and knowing that is has … Continue reading when other people think they know best
To my beautiful M. It's been two years since you've lived with me and 53 days since I've talked to you or seen your handsome face. You're growing up so fast and I feel like I am missing all of the important parts of your life. I imagine your voice will soon be changing and … Continue reading two years
Last week was quite a rough week and I'm glad for it to be over. On a whim I'd decided I'd write my brother a letter last Sunday. I've been looking for answers that neither I nor T can find. I'm not sure exactly what I hope my brother can say to me but perhaps … Continue reading when your weeks are tough
There's been a big shift in therapy lately but I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet. I shared some rather big memories with T last week and ever since I've been floating in shame and muddling through my days. I'll try to post more about it in the next few days once I … Continue reading muddling through
It's been a bit since I've posted here. I feel like everything and nothing has happened all at the same time. I still haven't talked to M. Pretty soon it's going to be a year and while I try to tell myself it will get better it's quite hard to feel positive about that situation. … Continue reading updates and more art