it’s done

On Wednesday evening my Auntie told my mother about the abuse I suffered from my two cousins. On Thursday morning my mother came out and stayed camping with us. Guess what she said to me? Nothing. Not a fucking word about any of it other than my Auntie asked her to give me a hug …

it doesn’t belong to me

Ever since I've decided to let my Auntie talk with my mother, I've been feeling different. I can't really tell if it's a good different or a bad different, though. It's just different. I had my session yesterday with T--the first since I've decided--and for the most part I wasn't even really there. T asked …

decision made

I found a piece of paper on the weekend with words written around this time last year and as I read it, I had to catch my breath. I was going through what felt like the hardest period of my life and I was absolutely certain I wanted to die. And while the certainty has …

what to do…

I know I sound like a broken record here, but I just don't know what to do about my mother. I feel very alone in this world of mine, even though T is along for the ride with me. The aloneness is just a feeling--I know that--not an actual thing even though that’s exactly the …

are these meds working?

I have never been the type of person who took a lot of medication--prescription or otherwise. However, since my lupus diagnosis I’ve had to adjust my thought process when it comes to trying to keep myself as healthy as possible. In my mind pills always carried the stigma of me not doing good enough. It …

further conversations with my Auntie

I talked to my Auntie yesterday. We discussed whether or not I want her to talk with my mother about what happened to me at my other Aunt's house when I was younger. I'm still on the fence about the whole thing but my Auntie thinks it's time to tell my mother and said that …