I bailed

It was bound to happen sooner or later with the way I've been feeling. Yesterday, I bailed on my therapy session about 30 minutes in. Actually, I'm quite surprised I lasted that long because as soon as I sat down I had this urge to up and run out. My brain is refusing to cooperate. …

fogginess

I'm struggling to get through work today. My brain feels foggy and I feel disconnected from this thing called life. Meeting after meeting, the time ticks away but I can't tell you what was said or what I've done. Nothing seems to make any sense. Words transform into jumbled letters that I can't decipher no …

exhausted

Everything that's ever happened is playing in my head constantly. I'm on the brink of exhaustion and I pray that tomorrow will be a different day. I'm trying to decide what to talk about but all I can come up with are empty thoughts. I feel an inherent tiredness that cannot be simply cured by …

sadness

Another week is done. A hard one. My world is flooding with need, storms and angst. This sadness. It's such a strange thing. Sometimes, no most of the time, I don't know how to stop the sadness. It feels too big, too consuming. What happens afterwards? Will there even be an afterwards? I sit here …

to therapy or not

I'm not entirely sure I want to go to therapy today. T was sick on Wednesday so we missed that session and I actually felt okay about it all (not that he was sick, just that we didn't have to talk about last Friday). I guess I'm just worried it's going to be more of …

letters not sent–truths

Dear T, I don’t want to write this letter. I don’t want to say these words. I don’t want to be sitting on this couch not understanding what I’ve done wrong yet again. I don’t really understand what you were trying to say to me but my ears heard that I need to try harder …