4 weeks

It’s been 4 weeks since M came to stay with me. It’s turning out to look like a more permanent thing as it feels like his father has basically written him off entirely. It’s been an adjustment but we’re getting there slowly. C is not doing well with it at all but I’ve had him to counselling and that seems to have helped a bit with him. I’ve also had M to one session and he said it was helpful so that feels promising. We have an intake appointment on the 13th to try to get him further counselling but if the wait is too long (like I’m thinking 8-10 months) we will go private as my benefits will cover for most of it.

I feel overwhelmed with everything and also very angry at their father. I had all of the resources in place when M went to live with them but they decided they knew better and everything got dropped. Now that he’s ‘too much‘ for them and ‘my problem now‘ I have to start over at ground zero. I’m not impressed to say the least but I’m doing the best that I can and I suppose that will have to do.

According to the ex he wants to ‘work together‘ but every time I ask him to help with something he won’t commit and needs to ask his wife first (and of course she says no to everything) so I’ve basically given up on asking for anything because it just saves me from getting involved with them at all.

The ex and his wife have also started playing mind games with C and I don’t like it. Last weekend C went to visit and according to the ex’s wife, C and his sisters wanted to play ‘detective‘ so they went through all of M’s stuff and found vaping and nicotine supplies in his room. Then they told C not to tell me because ‘they didn’t want M to freak out‘. I think the whole story is BS and they went through M’s stuff and are now trying to turn everyone against M. Their father also told C that he was going to clean out M’s room and that it could become C’s room now. Over my dead body are they going to have C live with them. They screwed up one child and they will not screw up the other one.

Therapy has been consumed with talk of the home situation and it feels like other important things are being pushed aside. I guess it is what it is and I’ll have to ride out this situation a bit longer before it becomes more stable but it is exhausting to say the least.

M is doing okay but I feel like he has absolutely no impulse control and torments C to no end. Don’t get me wrong, C is not an angel, but it just seems extreme the way that M behaves. He can’t sit still, talks 90 miles a minute and as soon as I tell him not to do something, he seems to only be able to wait a couple of minutes before he goes and does it again. My house has become loud and chaotic and I’m having a hard time adjusting to it all.

Most of me is happy that M is back because at least I feel like I can protect him from his father, but at the same time I miss my quiet little existence. I won’t send him back and refuse to give up on him but it’s going to take everything in me to get there. Soon 4 weeks will turn into 4 months and then even longer and eventually (I hope) it will feel like M has always been with us just like before he went to live with his dad. We will get through this. There are going to be tears and pain and feeling overwhelmed (mostly by me) but eventually we will get through it.