let’s talk about DNA–random thoughts of the day

Sometimes, I like to watch Law & Order: SVU. I probably shouldn't because it's triggering as hell but I like to watch them nail those guilty dirtbags to the wall. Anyways, today's episode was about DNA and whether or not the genes of a perpetrator can be passed on to their children. I remember a …

rambles

I feel like I am just buying time, as though we really aren't supposed to be here. There is always a part of me that feels like I need permission just in order to exist in this world because we've never had the opportunity to just be. Some days I feel like stepping off the …

two years

To my beautiful M. It's been two years since you've lived with me and 53 days since I've talked to you or seen your handsome face. You're growing up so fast and I feel like I am missing all of the important parts of your life. I imagine your voice will soon be changing and …

Merry Christmas, M

On this snowy Christmas Eve I'm struck by a sudden sadness of things that just won't be. I'm trying my best to stay in reasonable spirits for C, but it's not that easy. I'm also trying to tell myself that this year is different for many people because of the pandemic and I know I'm …

falling again

I got another message regarding M yesterday. Apparently he does not want to see me on Christmas Day and does not care whether or not I give him any gifts or not. I feel like I'll always be someone he won't want to talk to. I can't take it back, what happened between his dad …

back from our adventure and she ruins the mood

Well, we survived our camping trip. The weather overall was pretty good. We had a bit of rain one night and tons of wind but we stayed warm and dry. C survived although 2 whole days without electricity was apparently torture for him because God forbid we can't play video games all day...lol. (that response …