untethered

Sometimes it's hard not giving up. It's as though there is this invisible pull that wants to take you to a different place where things have a promise of being better. Logically, I know this isn't a real thing and there isn't somewhere out there that's going to magically make everything better but to that …

letters to T–my mother

We have been spending what feels like copious amounts of time in therapy talking about my parents. I'm not sure if it will ever feel better. Sometimes, especially when I talk about my mother, I feel quite awful afterwards. T says it's all okay to feel the way that I feel but even that doesn't …

never-ending

At Friday's session T and I spent some time talking retirement and endings. Let's just put it out there that every time he even mentions some sort of ending my brain goes haywire, my ears perk up a little higher and I do everything in my power to keep from panicking. Okay, so I'm not …

on the really bad days–a letter to T

Some days are just really bad days. Sometimes it feels like the bad days are never going to end and I'll be stuck with them for the rest of my life--like they are branded deep into my bones. I don't feel as though I'm good at emotions--having them, understanding them or expressing them. I get …

she’s broken

Yesterday I had my therapy session and rather than talking about the fact that T didn't message me back, we spent 50 minutes talking about my mother...AGAIN!! Honestly, it's become a bit of a constant thing and the more I talk about her, the more angry and confused I become. And while he would never …

a sheltered life

The other day, out of the blue, my mother remarked to me about how I never appreciate her and all the things she has done for our family. She then proceeded to tell me it's because I've led such a sheltered life. I was so dumbfounded by her remark that I wasn't even sure how …