family matters

So my aunt, the one whose house I used to go to when I was smaller, is in the hospital with congestive heart failure. My mom doesn't seem to think she'll last too long. Most of me doesn't care, but a small part of me does. Not too long ago my uncle, her husband, was …

still here, still struggling

Well, here we are again. Trying to patiently wait for something we aren't quite sure even exists. Life is hard, yet we continue to put one foot in front of the other. Perhaps our will to live currently outweighs that of dying. We've been trying to be more honest in therapy and it's hard. The …

Him

I never quite know how to start talking about my father. February 1st will be 12 years since he died and I always thought a huge weight would be lifted off of my shoulders once he was gone. It hasn't happened that way though. Perhaps a part of me felt we could pretend a little …

voicemail

Well today feels like it's one that broke the camel's back. I got a voicemail from M and to be honest I'm just not sure how things ever escalated this far. It's obvious from the message his father has been feeding him crap about me but to be 12 years old and have this much …

my anger

I've been working on anger the last few days. Most of the time I find myself wearing a smile that I don't believe in while inside I feel like screaming. I feel so angry, yet all I can do is cry. I hate when the anger turns to tears. I know there is no such …

falling

'Are you alright?', they ask. 'No', I want to answer. And it's the truth. And at least I know it now. We are all mortal. We are all fragile. And we all live under the shadow of death. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is admit we're not strong enough. There is suffering. And …