loving an explosive child

I hate you. I wish I'd never met you. I hope you die. You are not my mother, you will never be my mother and when I leave I am never going to visit you again. You are stupid. You ruined everything. I never want to see you again. Dial the goddamn numbers on the telephone …

someday

It's not always fair, the life you've been given. The neglect, the abuse, the willful abandon. You want to scream, you need to cry. Escaping the world, the walls you've built still help you hide. You cut, you burn, you pierce and tattoo. Just trying your best to erase such hurt, not knowing other options …

my favourite animal–the Polar Bear

It's Monday, so that means it's What's Your Favorite Day over at Revenge of Eve. Today's question? What is your favourite animal? For me, it's the polar bear. For as long as I can remember that has been my favourite animal. The polar bear is the emperor of the North. With the camouflage of white, …

do you know it?

There is a feeling. The one where you wake up in the morning, everything is quiet, your mind is clearer, and just for a little while it feels like things are aligned the way they're supposed to be. Do you know it? I'm having a hard time finding it. I think I remember something like …

slamming on the brakes

I don’t want this life. It’s hard and shitty. It’s completely unfair on so many levels. That was the text I sent to T after our meeting yesterday. He wrote me back wanting to know if it was specific or only in some situations. He asked me to message him more about it whenever I …

the gap

you feel very far away like a stranger I don’t know if I should reach out, or just let it be if I should cancel this week, or go anyways I find it hard to think to find words to talk to write to be