mishmash

Feeling frustrated today. On the verge of rage--if it truly is rage--that defies words but combines anger, frustration, sadness and anxiety. This is a new feeling for me and I felt irritated all weekend at even the minor things in life. Everything feels like sandpaper under my skin. No matter what I do, it all …

weekends

Do you enjoy your weekends? Is it something you look forward to all week? At my session yesterday after speaking with T we've come to the realization that weekends are hard for us. They definitely aren't something ever looked forward to and actually tend to increase the amount of anxiety going on in life. T …

on the really bad days–a letter to T

Some days are just really bad days. Sometimes it feels like the bad days are never going to end and I'll be stuck with them for the rest of my life--like they are branded deep into my bones. I don't feel as though I'm good at emotions--having them, understanding them or expressing them. I get …

12 days

It would be an utter lie if I were to say that things have improved since my last posting. Quite the opposite actually. I'm not even sure where to begin but here goes... I went on my annual trip to visit my Auntie on September 28th. I'd been struggling immensely with thoughts of suicide for …

(un)happy father’s day

Sometimes he's called dad or daddy, pops or father and perhaps even old man. I don't know what to call mine, though. I wonder if sadistic f*@kbag would be accurate enough. Here we are again at Father's Day. The day set aside each year where we are supposed to tell the world how thankful we …