a New Year

I'm not sure where to start or what to say. Does that mean that the words swirling around my brain serve no purpose? I'm not sure. Nothing stands out for me that might have happened since my last post but for some reason I can feel myself curling into a little cocoon, sheltering me away … Continue reading a New Year

chaos

My recent interactions with my ex's wife in regards to M has gotten me to think about how Christmas was for me growing up. I remember it like it was yesterday and the only word to describe it was chaos. From the minute the holidays started it was like an overload of visiting and eating … Continue reading chaos

dark days

I woke up this morning and for a brief moment...forgot about my past. Then it all came flooding back. Time stood still. Everything felt hollow. I wished I could swap places with someone else. It should be them who has to live this way. When someone hurts you that much, how do you...does it ever … Continue reading dark days

moments

There's no map, no route, no arrowhead to follow. We have never walked this way before. They are always there...in quiet corners, in the shadows, in ordinary clothes...and they are terrifying. You need to watch out for them, for they will catch you unaware and fill you with unimaginable fear. There are too many things … Continue reading moments

falling

'Are you alright?', they ask. 'No', I want to answer. And it's the truth. And at least I know it now. We are all mortal. We are all fragile. And we all live under the shadow of death. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is admit we're not strong enough. There is suffering. And … Continue reading falling