Merry Christmas, M

On this snowy Christmas Eve I'm struck by a sudden sadness of things that just won't be. I'm trying my best to stay in reasonable spirits for C, but it's not that easy. I'm also trying to tell myself that this year is different for many people because of the pandemic and I know I'm …

my penguin

Last week T asked me to think and write about ways I thought it would be possible for me to remember him when we aren't together. He explained that some people remember his face or his voice and then can hear or visualize him saying something. That was their way of keeping him with them. …

falling again

I got another message regarding M yesterday. Apparently he does not want to see me on Christmas Day and does not care whether or not I give him any gifts or not. I feel like I'll always be someone he won't want to talk to. I can't take it back, what happened between his dad …

medication woes

Some days I wake up and the world has turned to grey. I wonder where all of the other beautiful colours go in those dark and gloomy moments. I'm feeling a bit down and out these last few days and part of it is definitely medication-related. I'm now considered as an individual who falls under …