update

I don't want to talk much about my mental health in this post because I'm not entirely sure what to say but I did want to post an update on my appointment with the obesity doctor I had yesterday. Let me just start by saying she was absolutely amazing and so easy to talk to …

family matters

So my aunt, the one whose house I used to go to when I was smaller, is in the hospital with congestive heart failure. My mom doesn't seem to think she'll last too long. Most of me doesn't care, but a small part of me does. Not too long ago my uncle, her husband, was …

still here, still struggling

Well, here we are again. Trying to patiently wait for something we aren't quite sure even exists. Life is hard, yet we continue to put one foot in front of the other. Perhaps our will to live currently outweighs that of dying. We've been trying to be more honest in therapy and it's hard. The …

dissociation, eye contact and finding myself in an uncomfortable place

Last week I sent the following message to T: I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy, yet, I just saw it flicker out of the corner of my eye. I know something is in this room. Waiting. There is something that haunts the daytime and fills the nights with fear and dread. And as much as …

obesity

I have been overweight my entire life. Having freckles and wearing glasses just added to the multitude of names my cousins could come up to insult me with as we were growing up. Nobody ever did anything to stop it. And the weight continued to pile on. I've tried Weight Watchers numerous times, have had …

the shadow is back

It felt like things had been slowly getting back to what I can only say feels like a bit of normalcy. But another bad nightmare, plus some other things happening and we're back in the land of the darkness again. Hmmm where to begin. About a month ago, I got offered a new job. It's …