M and mental health struggles

Things feel like they are headed off the rails again with M. We recently switched him schools and while it's only been one week he absolutely hates it. I don't think he's given it a fair chance to be honest but grade 9 is a hard year for any teen and to switch half way …

on the cusp of a new beginning

It's been a while since I've gone and disappeared again. I miss my blog but sometimes it's just easier to stay away. As I once told T, sometimes writing is not very cathartic and actually makes me feel worse about some of the situations I find myself in. I can't believe we are almost at …

4 weeks

It's been 4 weeks since M came to stay with me. It's turning out to look like a more permanent thing as it feels like his father has basically written him off entirely. It's been an adjustment but we're getting there slowly. C is not doing well with it at all but I've had him …

off the rails

It feels like everything with M is up in the air and going off the rails. His ODD is really rearing it's ugly head these days. Last Wednesday he got suspended from school for assaulting another kid (apparently it's not the first time he's pushed this kid). Then on Friday I got home from work, …

and so it continues

It's been ages since I've felt like writing anything. I think part of it is because once I start, writing almost becomes an all-consuming obsession and I just don't want to go into that place again. I don't even really write to T anymore because the answers are never enough. Not that he doesn't try …

dreams

I want to cease what no longer serves me rather than sink into isolation with struggle, disappointment, or fear. I don't want to be the one who lives with the burning shame, believing it was all her fault. She has given up on life and wants to destroy herself. I have spent so much time …