My aunt, the one whose house I went to all those years ago, passed away late Wednesday. To say my feelings about the matter are complicated would be an understatement. I'm trying my best to keep busy so that my mind can focus on other things--things that don't remind me of what was all those … Continue reading a complicated death
family
family matters
So my aunt, the one whose house I used to go to when I was smaller, is in the hospital with congestive heart failure. My mom doesn't seem to think she'll last too long. Most of me doesn't care, but a small part of me does. Not too long ago my uncle, her husband, was … Continue reading family matters
still here, still struggling
Well, here we are again. Trying to patiently wait for something we aren't quite sure even exists. Life is hard, yet we continue to put one foot in front of the other. Perhaps our will to live currently outweighs that of dying. We've been trying to be more honest in therapy and it's hard. The … Continue reading still here, still struggling
the shadow is back
It felt like things had been slowly getting back to what I can only say feels like a bit of normalcy. But another bad nightmare, plus some other things happening and we're back in the land of the darkness again. Hmmm where to begin. About a month ago, I got offered a new job. It's … Continue reading the shadow is back
Him
I never quite know how to start talking about my father. February 1st will be 12 years since he died and I always thought a huge weight would be lifted off of my shoulders once he was gone. It hasn't happened that way though. Perhaps a part of me felt we could pretend a little … Continue reading Him
turn back the clock
I'm feeling overwhelmed. I don't want to fight with anyone. I just want things to be calm and quiet. I want to hide from everything and everyone. I don't want things to be this way. I got a call from outpatient mental health services yesterday. The referral my psychiatrist put in for me back in … Continue reading turn back the clock