trapped

Time is moving so slowly at the moment that I'm not entirely sure whether it's even moving at all. I feel lost, disconnected from this thing called life. Where has everyone gone and what does it mean? I feel so infinitely small like a tiny speck of dust floating in the air. Will I ever …

things I should probably tell my therapist but most likely won’t–feeling sorry for myself

I DON'T THINK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW STRESSFUL IT IS TO EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND IT YOURSELF. YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO LET GO, BUT YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL WAITING FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE TO HAPPEN...unknown author These things that have happened, they've ruined everything. My life, …

exhale

I feel like I've been holding my breath for a very long time. Now I can't anymore. But I've forgotten how to exhale...

12 days

It would be an utter lie if I were to say that things have improved since my last posting. Quite the opposite actually. I'm not even sure where to begin but here goes... I went on my annual trip to visit my Auntie on September 28th. I'd been struggling immensely with thoughts of suicide for …

why is it still a thing?

I sent a message to T on Friday and he still hasn't responded. Lots of thoughts have been running through my mind due to his lack of response--he's busy, he's tired, he didn't see the message and of course the mother of all thoughts I'm too much and he's decided he no longer wants anything …

unattached to living

For the first time in a very long time I wish I was still a smoker. Like, I would seriously kill for a cigarette right about now. I need something, anything, to keep my hands busy. The last few days have been painfully difficult. I don't know what it is that makes me want to …