I'm feeling overwhelmed. I don't want to fight with anyone. I just want things to be calm and quiet. I want to hide from everything and everyone. I don't want things to be this way. I got a call from outpatient mental health services yesterday. The referral my psychiatrist put in for me back in … Continue reading turn back the clock
I'm not sure where to start or what to say. Does that mean that the words swirling around my brain serve no purpose? I'm not sure. Nothing stands out for me that might have happened since my last post but for some reason I can feel myself curling into a little cocoon, sheltering me away … Continue reading a New Year
Tick, tick, tick goes the clock on the wall. Tick, tick, tick goes the little clock on the table. They both tick but not in unison and the incongruence grates on my nerves. Evidence of my past trauma weaves like a deep trench through my present story. Decades after the first improper touch I am … Continue reading our therapy session
Dear T, Are we okay, I wonder? It doesn't feel that we are. I don't know, it's just that it feels like there is something I'm meant to be saying or doing, but I just don't know what it is really. I hate when it feels like you are mad at me. I don't know … Continue reading letters not sent–are we okay?
It was bound to happen sooner or later with the way I've been feeling. Yesterday, I bailed on my therapy session about 30 minutes in. Actually, I'm quite surprised I lasted that long because as soon as I sat down I had this urge to up and run out. My brain is refusing to cooperate. … Continue reading I bailed
I'm not entirely sure I want to go to therapy today. T was sick on Wednesday so we missed that session and I actually felt okay about it all (not that he was sick, just that we didn't have to talk about last Friday). I guess I'm just worried it's going to be more of … Continue reading to therapy or not