falling

‘Are you alright?’, they ask. ‘No’, I want to answer. And it’s the truth. And at least I know it now.

We are all mortal. We are all fragile. And we all live under the shadow of death. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is admit we’re not strong enough. There is suffering. And if one of us suffers, we all do. If one of us falls, we all fall.

They say progress is inevitable. In some ways we can look to the past as the time of our lives…or an ordeal to overcome. The future can be a beacon of hope…or something scary and unfamiliar. It depends on who we are…what’s inside of us…that determines what our future will be.

There is a war raging inside. A war between the mind and the heart. We all feel that battle…the pull between what we want and what we need.

I struggle. So why don’t we tell people that? Instead, we tell people we lead an easy life where things are fine.

The world is changing so fast. We’ve been here before. It’s terrifying to step outside the bounds of our lives. Sometimes there is a different path for us–one that feels impossible. One that makes us feel alone.

Do you believe in ghosts? They won’t leave me alone. They always come back.

They were given all the power. And what did they do with it? They destroyed others. They violated trust. And we grew sad. We grew angry…

What about forgiveness? I don’t believe all of us deserve it. When you destroy others, you break the law. If you break some laws, you deserve suffering. Not me. Them. That is all they deserve…

I remember they didn’t care. I remember what they did. We live in the shadow of it. They had a choice. Not all of us do though.

We can’t change what’s happened. I trusted somebody. And they hurt people.

We live in a broken world. Full of broken people. How can we fix it when we’re broken too? It’s a constant reminder that you’re different. I have no idea who I really am. I don’t know much about myself at all.

I’m scared if I fall…that I won’t stop.

3 thoughts on “falling

  1. I really like your opposites, about the past and the future and such different ways to view it. I find your posts so down to earth that way, you are very refreshing.
    I too, struggle with such opposites. I find it so hard to believe people can do each other such damage, and especially when it’s intentional. I’m not sure if it’s a coping mechanism or something! But it certainly is a conflict and i do share much of what you’ve written here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thanks LS. I’m sorry you can relate. I’ve come to learn that some people just suck and they’re never going to change. Doesn’t make things easier by any means, but at least I can see it now..

      Liked by 1 person

      • It doesn’t make it easier but I admire you for your strength. I know you probably don’t feel strong, but it’s evident from your writing that it’s there. And I agree, it really doesn’t make it easier, it’s just as painful. With knowledge comes sorrow sometimes. 🤗

        Like

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