the blahs

Well, it didn’t rain and we didn’t have a thunderstorm which means lightning didn’t hit the tree beside our tent and I’m still here…sigh.

We’re leaving a day early still because they are calling for 20-30mm of rain which is good for the forest fire situation but not so good for tearing down a campsite situation. I’m okay with it. I’m sorta tired and need to sleep in my own bed.

Last night was the first time I really missed T and therapy. It’s my own silly fault because I forgot to delete my calendar reminder so it popped up yesterday telling me I was supposed to be in therapy. I didn’t do anything about the feelings but they’re still there rolling around inside today. I really miss the routine that therapy brings to my life. In all of the chaos and confusion that surrounds me, I at least have that one constant. And it does make a difference even when it doesn’t feel like it.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week and I’m glad because it feels like the depression is getting worse. Hopefully we can figure it out and adjust something in my medicine cocktail.

Other than that I’m still feeling pretty blah. I hope something shifts soon and we can start to feel at least another feeling.

Depression is so exhausting, isn’t it?