what would you do?

History will judge us
by the difference
we make in the everyday lives
of children.
-Nelson Mandela

I feel as though I am about to tread into unknown territory. I feel neither prepared nor able to be okay with it.

I sit here and contemplate whether I am overreacting. Is my thought process too skewed to step back and look at the whole picture?

Anyone who has been in a relationship that hasn’t worked out knows how difficult it can be to move forward. I think sometimes it’s even harder when you have children because for better or worse, you are always connected to that other person. When things end on bad terms, I don’t know if it’s possible to be completely objective towards the other parent. For me, it’s a conscious effort and it takes a lot of work to be respectful and not pick at minor details with my ex. I wish it was the same way in reverse, but it’s not, and I’m slowly learning that it never will be.

So, when something happens that involves your children, how do you make a decision that isn’t based on emotions? Is it even possible?

Is it ever okay for an adult to punch a child (hard enough that it makes them cry) because the child slapped their sibling? Is it ever okay for an adult to swear and call a child a little mother-f*%$#r or to push them against a bed and tell them that next time they’ll be thrown through the wall?

When does the line get crossed when it comes to punishing your child? Is my tolerance for what is and what isn’t acceptable lower than most because of how my father raised us? I often wonder if those who’ve survived horrific childhoods are sometimes quicker to call bullshit. I think I am–at least when it comes to children.

I need to do something but I have to make sure it’s the right thing and only based on facts rather that emotion. I just don’t know if that’s possible considering the circumstances and the person involved.

They are safe because they are with me but doing nothing is not an option. This is not the time to remain silent.

What would you do if you were in this situation?

12 thoughts on “what would you do?

  1. It may not be possible for you to make a decision based on facts rather than emotions, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take those facts to someone (either an individual or an organization) who would be in a more objective position to decide what should best be done with those facts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This all seems out of line to me, too. If this involves your own kids, it might be really hard to figure things out by leaving the emotion out of it. It might be next to impossible, honestly. Have you had a chance to talk to T and start sorting things out?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am resolutely against any form of using physical punishment, because I don’t believe in the message it sends. I can understand others don’t agree with that, but I think this goes even beyond what most people would agree is okay or acceptance. In my opinion, that’s bordering on abuse, both physical and emotional. Children shouldn’t have to feel their safety is threatened just for making a mistake or making a poor choice, as all kids do sometimes.

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  4. hi 🙂
    i have been in this situation when my kids were little … a few times actually, with various family members. when my kids came back to live with me full time, they were 6 & 11, and i had a no hitting rule, not that i wouldn’t have like to twack them round the ears a few times … but anyway … but that was my personal measuring stick. my ‘whats right according to the rest of the world’ measuring stick, was what was legal and illegal. that also helped to deal with any family involved and removed the emotional element. … overall, i think we do call bullshit quicker. the fact that your definitive on not remaining silent means your pretty much sorted! the rest is just logistics 😉

    Like

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