Hello my lovelies. I hope you are all doing well.
I have some very good news. It’s not cancer!!
Those three little words felt like some of the most important words I’ve ever heard in my life. I honestly think that over the last two weeks, I’ve forgotten how to breathe and it just might take a few days to let it all sink in.
The not-so-good news is that my family doctor is still a complete asshole!
I walked into his office on Thursday morning on the verge of throwing up on his floor but he didn’t seem to care one bit. He opens my file, looks at me and says ‘I have your biopsy results–not cancer–and flips the sheet onto the table. I have your urinalysis tests–it’s just a small amount of blood showing up in the two tests–no big deal. What else can I do for you?‘
‘I need my stitches removed’, I told him, while thinking to myself ‘what about all the other tests that were ordered?‘.
He removes the stitches and says ‘okay, we’re done‘ I looked at him and say ‘What about all the other tests? Do those mean anything?’
He looks at me and says ‘Well we can look at them, I guess. Your sugar is good, cholesterol is good. Oh, your B12 is low, so take this pill. I hope you know you’ll have to take it for the rest of your life. Hmmmmm, you have positive RNP and anti dsDNA and a positive ENA. That’s weird. I don’t understand these results. These don’t make sense to me. I don’t even know why they would be ordered so you’ll just have to wait until you see the specialist again at the end of May. I don’t get it and I’m not going to try to figure it out.’
Then he closes my file, says goodbye and walks out of the room.
Wait a minute. What?!?!
Okay, so I know doctors can’t know everything and I know he’s busy, but I also think he has some responsibility to try to figure out why those numbers are showing up, why they are the way that they are and whether or not there is a problem.
Ugghhh!! I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting and I’m even more tired of him brushing me off because I don’t call his office every time I’m not feeling well. Maybe that’s what I need to start doing. Every time I’m not feeling well, I should make an appointment and maybe then he’ll start taking me seriously.
Maybe I’m just being crazy about the whole thing. I don’t know. The only solace is that the specialist didn’t treat me like a crazy person and hopefully he’ll have some answers for me.
It’s only another month. Not too long in the grand scheme of things. Besides, it’s not cancer, and that’s all that really matters.