how to be okay with gray


David Pearce

They say there two ways of thinking:

1. black and white – right/wrong, yes/no, good/bad, start/finish.

2. gray – moving forward, a step closer, an opportunity to learn, things end in -ish (right, wrong, finished).

I am a black and white thinker. It feels safe to me. Things are happening or not happening. Something is good or it’s bad. A person performs well or isn’t performing at all. There are start dates and finish dates. Things happen sequentially in a linear, orderly fashion.

My brain loves the idea that this is how the world works. It craves the clarity of a world that unfolds in a straight line. It’s happy if there’s a plan and it takes comfort that if we stick to it, everything will be okay.

T doesn’t agree. He doesn’t understand how the way I think, feel and live in the extremes can make a person feel safe. He says black and white isn’t how the world works.

Apparently, life unfolds from a world of gray. There are trade-offs and risks and safe decisions don’t always provide a payoff. Gray thinking requires emotional intelligence and not having it shuts down your ability to see what’s actually happening and respond accordingly.

I don’t know if I can’t get used to feeling around in the dark because knowing where the light switch is, isn’t what’s needed. I don’t know how to be okay with gray.

I wonder if it’s possible to live in both worlds?

3 thoughts on “how to be okay with gray

  1. I’d like to think anything is possible. You can have black and white thinking but grey expectations. Allow room for things to fall short or not measure up. I am not emotional intelligent so perhaps this is why I think this is possible.

    Liked by 1 person

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