The snow is falling steadily outside of the window. It softens the dark grays and browns that the late fall left behind. Everything is insulated against the harsh sounds of the world and it’s so very quiet.
The chickadees and goldfinches are having their fill at the bird feeder. I was late putting the feeder out this year and I worried that they had found a food source elsewhere and wouldn’t come. But they have and I’m glad. I see them flit about the branches of the cedar hedges and watch the snow fall weightlessly to the ground below.
I don’t mind winter once I get used to it. Our winters last at least four months so I figure I might as well make the most of it. Soon it will be time for snowshoeing, tobogganing and outdoor skating and the weekends will pass away into spring.
The quietness surrounds me and brings me back to times before. It’s only two more weeks until Christmas, a season where we are supposed to spend time with family and friends.
As the years have gone by, I’ve spent less and less time with family during the holidays. I have my boys and every second year my mother is home, but that’s about it. I sometimes feel sad when I hear other people talk about big holiday festivities with their families, but I just don’t think I could do it right now. There’s just too much hurt involved. Too much hurt and not enough good memories to outweigh the bad.
Maybe one year it will be different, but not yet….